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Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids - A Guide for Parents and Professionals, by Gregory Keck, Regina Kupeck
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Without avoiding the grim statistics, this book reveals the real hope that hurting children can be healed through adoptive and foster parents, social workers, and others who care. Includes information on foreign adoptions.
- Sales Rank: #154645 in eBooks
- Published on: 2014-02-01
- Released on: 2014-02-01
- Format: Kindle eBook
From Library Journal
To Love a Child is the heartwarming story of one man's commitment to a child that had been declared not adoptable. Then three years old, the child was born addicted to drugs, his mother had been murdered, and he had been dubbed all but a throwaway. Here, writer Schwarz chronicles the events of one remarkable year?from the day before he met his son to the day the courts legalized the adoption. During that time, the Schwarzes took in another child. Exhibiting a broad range of experience, Keck, founder of a treatment center for children with developmental problems, and Kupecky, Ohio's 1990 Adoption Worker of the Year, together examine many issues affecting today's adoptive families. They address various phases of the adoption process: early issues in the adoptive family; age-specific problems, as well as solutions; and clarification on issues of parenting or working with the abused or damaged child. Throughout, numerous case histories are cited. Both books include superior resources, readings, and index arrangements, and both are recommended for all libraries.?Marty D. Evensvold, Magnolia P.L., Tex.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From the Back Cover
The world is full of hurting kids who suffer from emotional trauma caused by someone they should have been able to trust. It’s a pain that lasts into adulthood if not healed and resolved. It is the new face of adoption.
In this revised and updated guide to healing the emotional trauma of the adopted child, authors Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky provide a clear picture of what it’s like to hurt and what it means to heal. Through advice, tips, and success stories of those who have been there, you’ll find valuable insight and hope.
It’s never too late for healing.
About the Author
Gregory C. Keck, PhD, is the founder of the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio as well as a psychologist and adoptive parent of two sons. He is coauthor of Parenting the Hurt Child and author of Parenting Adopted Adolescents.
Regina M. Kupecky, LSW, is a therapist who treats children with attachment disorders at the Attachment and Bonding Center of Ohio. She has been named "Adoption Worker of the Year" by the Ohio Department of Human Services and is coauthor of Parenting the Hurt Child.
Most helpful customer reviews
101 of 102 people found the following review helpful.
Read This Before Adopting Older Children!
By A Customer
As an adoption educator, adoptive parent of three (3) special needs children, as well as a birth mother in reunion, I recommend ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD to all prospective adoptive parents. Society tends to sugar-coat adoption, believing that adoptive parents are saints and the adopted child should be grateful to have a family. Unfortunately, particularly when adopting older children, adoptive families are not well-equipped nor adequately prepared to appropriately deal with all of the emotional, behavioral and/or psychological issues these children hold within themselves. When the child begins to act out aggressively, rebelliously or sexually, we/society, tend to criticize the child for not being appreciative of the new life he's been given, or dismiss the behavior, reverting to the old "bad blood" concept from times long past. Often, these special needs children seem to be typical to outsiders, acting out only in the home environment. ADOPTING THE HURT CHILD gives readers insight into how these children became hurt and offers sound advice on not only dealing appropriately with the child's behavior, but on seeking professional help, how to set parameters, exercise patience, creating a safe and nurturing environment and more. As an adoption educator, I utilize this book as a basis when teaching workshops on adopting special needs children and it continues to bring better understanding, as well as empathy and compassion to both the adoption professionals and prospective adoptive parents whom I train. I also give this book as a gift to all of my children's physicians and therapists so they, too, can better treat my children. This is a book written in the true sense of "the best interest of the child." I encourage you to read this book and share it with everyone in your support circle of friends, family and health professionals. Education is the best tool we have to promote understanding.
75 of 77 people found the following review helpful.
A Landmark Book on Attachment & Adoption
By A Customer
Two years ago, we assumed guardianship of my husband's troubled 12-year old niece. She was my husband's sister's child and came from a "House of Horrors." Every conceivable problem existed. Drug abuse, domestic violence, sick pornography, sibling incest, severe parental neglect, sarcasm, ridicule, brutality and denial. She came from the inner city, to our sheltered, happy home in the suburbs. It was akin to someone moving to a foreign country. Fortunately, I read "Adopting the Hurt Child." The book was a lifesaver. I do not exaggerate. Social workers and incompetent therapists seemed to blame us for her problems, (and we hadn't had her for even a year). The authors said this is common. Adoptive parents take the heat for the original family's neglect. The authors nailed every single issue, or problem, with razor sharp accuracy. Our niece is an actress with attachment issues. She wears masks. She plots, she cannot "be." She was never taught real love or how to be with people. Her presence in our household really shook us to the core. She acted coquettish and manipulative with my husband; snide to me (the mom). I do not see the book as negative, but as candid. Love isn't always enough. Movies may have happy endings, but real life is altogether different. Sometimes, these children do not get better. At least, empowered with the advice of this book, you can seek better therapy treatments, know what kind of therapist to hire, and sniff out the bad ones immediately. Now, two years later, we found an attachment therapist. This terrific therapist cannot be manipulated. She is both tough and compassionate. We made more progress with her -- in three sessions, than our niece did with a sex abuse counselor in a year. Our niece still has many problems, and time will tell. We are hanging in there. And I still reference this book. It's just superb. God bless both the authors.
46 of 48 people found the following review helpful.
A Must Read for Anyone involved in a Difficult Relationship
By A Customer
This book is a must read for anyone involved in a difficult relationship due to childhood issues or anyone thinking about adopting a child. I purchased it because my husband and I are thinking about adopting a Special Needs child. This definitely helps you to think long and hard about your possible parenting capabilities with a child with Special Needs. I definitely related to the Dreams and Realities Chapter, which has caused me to really evaluate what I am hoping to accomplish in my life with this adoption. Additionally, the chapters on identifying specific behaviors was a real eye opener for me. Although my ex-husband did not come from an adoptive family, I believe he had a lot of the characteristics of a child with Attachment Difficulties. I may have been able to help him, if I had thought of his problems at this level rather than dealing with our problems through marital counseling (how sad to discover this too late.)This is just simply an honest, informative book helping to educate people before taking such a major step in life. Also, this book provides possible answers to the difficult situations we may face in the future. I completely admire the total dedication to a child's needs that this book focuses on.
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